Here, not there. On Happiness & Acceptance.

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All this relentless striving, ceaseless pursuit, and insatiable yearning for accomplishments. The endless conditions we impose on ourselves to attain a goal: “Then, and only then, can I finally be happy. Then, and only then, will I be deemed successful. Then, and only then, will I be worthy.”

And yet, once we reach that coveted milestone, the cycle begins anew.

There’s nothing inherently wrong with having aspirations, setting a direction, or desiring something beyond our current reach. However, in our relentless pursuit of what is “there”, we often lose sight of what is already “here”, what exists within us—the essence of who we are at this very moment, the core of our being.

Pausing for a moment

Accepting what is proves to be a challenge. Embracing the parts of ourselves or our lives that we may not particularly like is not an easy task. However, acceptance lies at the very foundation of effective personal leadership. Without it, we remain trapped in a perpetual loop of striving and craving, never finding true peace with our present circumstances.

Pause for just a moment. Can you release the relentless drive? Can you temporarily set aside the insatiable hunger for more? Can you grant yourself permission to fully inhabit the space you’re in, embracing both the parts you love and the parts you struggle with?

The paradox of acceptance

Renowned teacher Tara Brach once beautifully expressed,

“There is something wonderfully bold and liberating about saying yes to our entire imperfect and messy life.

Paradoxically, it is through this almost strange notion of acceptance that we find our way out of this cycle. Acceptance possesses an unconditional quality that frees us from the constraints of conditional happiness and fulfillment.

In my practice as a leadership coach, I often guide my clients through a visualization, leading them to explore their innermost core—a place of wholeness that remains untouched by external circumstances. The profound clarity that emerges in these moments always touches me. Some of these experiences are deeply emotional, accompanied by a deep and long sigh that releases all the pressure for a moment.

Acceptance, or surrendering to what is, does not come easily. It calls us to sit with the messiness, the pain, the lack of achievement, the struggles, and the difficulties. Yet, when we wholeheartedly embrace acceptance, we find liberation, reigniting the momentum within us once more.